Dr. Strangecope or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Cope with Cancer

Before I start this entry, I want to go back to last week and clarify some things about my post. When I make a blog post, I usually come straight from the heart, and don't make edits unless it's for grammatical stuff. After re-reading my post, I can understand it might be taken the wrong way in some contexts. So I'll try to clear the air in an attempt to further make my point clear.

1. Firstly, it wasn't a knock against people's beliefs. While I don't share these beliefs, I also think it isn't any of my business to convince them otherwise. If someone tells me "I'm praying for you", I'd accept it the same way if someone told me "Merry Christmas". That is to say, with grace and acceptance that I'm important enough to this person to matter to them in some way.

2. I wasn't trying to generalize. I am a very open-minded individual and don't get insulted easily. When I say anyone can come to me with any questions or comments and I won't be offended, I mean it. But it might be wise to tread lightly around other people with cancer (or for that matter, any other life-threatening illness). People cope with their disease in different ways and some people can't handle the stress more than others can. That's not a slight against those people, because it can be hard on anyone. So don't treat what I say about myself as a generalization of everyone else going through something like this.

That brings up a really good point about myself. I've been able to handle this very well. So I'd like to talk a bit about coping. More specifically, how do I cope dealing with cancer. I'm going to delve into some psychology here, but nothing too brainy. I'll try to keep things in layman's terms. I should also note that my audience is pretty well informed about things and also doesn't generalize or make false assumptions, so this is in no way directed at anyone. Instead, think of it more as me teaching a course to a large group of people.

I think the first assumption is that I am in denial about my cancer. I'd have to say this is a pretty bizarre reaction. It is brought up under the five stages of grief model, where I refuse to think the cancer inside of me is slowly killing me. Technically since the five stages of grief usually revolve around death, I'd go as far to say this might be a reasonable assumption. "Oh, he's handling it so well. He must just be in denial about how deadly the disease is." Unfortunately, I know exactly how deadly it is. It's something that remains on my mind every single day. I can't read the future but it's very likely that my cause of death will be from this disease. It could happen in five years, or it could happen in twenty five years.

To be clear, the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It may seem odd to say, but I'm pretty sure I skipped the first four. It's not my place to worry. I can either do something to change my condition or I can't. In either case, worrying won't solve my problems.

Instead, I don't focus on the cancer. There are sometimes I actually just forget about it. You have no idea the kind of relief you feel when your mind is clear to make decisions when it's not based around your disease. But I can't be like that all the time and use basic defense mechanisms to deal with it. I use these to deal with any stress or anxiety. In fact, I am using what is uncommonly called a Level 4 Mature defense strategy. This is where emotionally stable individuals are able to sublimate their fears, stress, and anxiety through methods which enhance pleasure.

To those that know me well, you should know that I use humor a good deal to conquer these feelings. I will often joke around about anything, no matter the subject. Cancer is no exception. This doesn't mean I have a laissez-faire attitude about it. I use humor as a way to please, not only myself, but others around me. I would rather see people continue to live their life and have a good time around me instead of being all doom and gloom. I am a shining beacon to those who need a light in the darkness.