Not again

Many of you have been wondering what is going on. Some of you that follow my blog might have wondered how I made out with my follow up appointment this week for the brain scan.

I'll hit you with the bad news first. As I mentioned in a previous post, an MRI showed a bleed in my brain that was causing seizures. They took me off anti-coagulants and put me on seizure medication to prevent any further bleeding. I'd follow up in a month to see how the bleed was doing. I should note that the first report and scan showed no signs of an underlying mass. But, guess what? My recent scan showed a underlying mass. The bleeding has changed enough to reveal a roughly 1 to 1.5 inch mass. I didn't want to say anything until now because we wanted to get a second opinion but they also agreed with everyone at Emory. This has resulted in the following:

• A brain surgery will be required. This is going to be done Monday June 30th. This is the priority. All else that comes later we don't know yet.
• The surgery is likely to be followed up with some radiation, but we don't know how many treatments until the surgeon says how well he got it.
• I'm off my cancer treatment. Subsequently, I'll be off the clinical trial as well. A spread to the brain means the treatment has likely stopped working and possibly a spread to other organs as well. Since I have not had a CT Scan of my chest since April, we don't know for sure right now. We'll deal with it after the surgery and any needed radiation.

The area of the brain it is in affects my speech, so there is a good chance its been growing for sometime and affected my speech in February while I was in the hospital for my back.

The brain surgery could possibly affect my speech the rest of my life and there is a possibility of a permanent weakness to my right side (facial, arms, and possibly legs).

So, I guess the good news?

• The tumor is superficial, which means it's near the surface. They can remove it without having to dig through brain tissue, thus minimizing any possible risk as well as close to 100% removal.
• Although it is brain surgery, it is minimally invasive. It will only take a couple hours and recovery time in the hospital will be probably about 4 days (plus possible out-patient treatment for PT/OT).
• It is likely the tumor didn't cause my seizures -- more likely the bleeding did. This is good for post-operative care.

Given my history, this is probably the melanoma. There could be a slim chance it is benign, but they simply won't know until they go in. But, there is something to be removed regardless so I'd have to have surgery one way or the other. But where we go from here is anyone's guess.

At this point, I have no expectations.

On the topic of religion

I feel the need to preface this with a BIG disclaimer. As many of you are well aware, I am a non-religious person. I don't believe in a god, I put my faith in science and my fellow human beings, and usually have disdain for people that try to force their thinking down my throat (on both sides of the issue). That said, this blog is about my cancer and my dealings with it. This isn't a religious rant or diatribe so please don't take it that way. I mean no offense to anyone and have had discussions with many people on the subject before. But it has been weighing on my mind more than lately and I'm going to try to finally get it out.

Catching a break

UGH.

So, this post was delayed about four weeks. Originally, it was going to be one of my catch up posts, because I had been out of the rehab clinic for about two months at that point. I was going to tell you how I had been going to outpatient PT three times a week, where they worked the tense muscles out of my back. In fact, I went from using a walker, to using a cane, to walking unassisted in a little less than a month. Coupled with a water walking class I had started at a local wellness center, I had been feeling pretty good. The only mediocre news: at my oncologist appointment, my CT scan showed no change to the size of the tumors. They hadn't shrunk any, but they also didn't grow. They were what they referred to as stable. Not the best news, but they weren't growing. My next appointment should be more definitive if my treatments have stopped working, or if it's the on/off cycle when I was in the hospital of taking my medication.