Catching a break

UGH.

So, this post was delayed about four weeks. Originally, it was going to be one of my catch up posts, because I had been out of the rehab clinic for about two months at that point. I was going to tell you how I had been going to outpatient PT three times a week, where they worked the tense muscles out of my back. In fact, I went from using a walker, to using a cane, to walking unassisted in a little less than a month. Coupled with a water walking class I had started at a local wellness center, I had been feeling pretty good. The only mediocre news: at my oncologist appointment, my CT scan showed no change to the size of the tumors. They hadn't shrunk any, but they also didn't grow. They were what they referred to as stable. Not the best news, but they weren't growing. My next appointment should be more definitive if my treatments have stopped working, or if it's the on/off cycle when I was in the hospital of taking my medication.

But, that is not what this post is going to be about.

Four weeks ago I had my first seizure. It was a Friday night and me and the wife were going over our nightly routine. She'd help me with my injections, we'd both get ready for bed, she'd go to sleep, I'd stay up late and come to bed usually some time after midnight. I had a slight headache, and coupled with my back soreness of that day (Fridays are PT and water walking at the pool), I took a couple Tylenol and didn't think anything of it.

Roughly an hour later I was at my computer when I started to feel weird. Picture my computer desk setup: I have a large monitor in front of me, and a second monitor to my right. Usually I have my main focus (usually video games) on my main monitor, and I can then browse websites on my secondary monitor during downtime. It works great for multitasking, too, but I digress.

This feeling was something I've never felt before. It was as though I wanted to keep looking at my second monitor, although I was trying to remain firmly focused on my main screen. It felt like I was trying to look at both at once. Thinking it was a tic of some kind, I briefly shut my eyes to make it go away. When I opened them, it was still happening. On top of that, I felt nauseous. So my first thought was that I was going to be sick. That is when I had to make a decision. To the right of me is a trash can, but it was quite full. If I was going to vomit, I'd need to run to the bathroom down the hall.

As I turned away from my desk in an attempt to get up, it got worse. It was no longer just my eyes, but my cheek. Then my jaw. Then my tongue. I figured I was in more trouble than I initially realized. Something was wrong and I needed my wife. But, I couldn't speak. I could make noise, but I wasn't forming words. Instinct kicked in and I immediately got up and ran to the bedroom. It's not that far away and if I had collapsed, I would at least be able to pound on the wall to get her attention.

When I went to get up, my neck was twitching so my head kept trying to look to the right. I thought I was having a stroke and it was taking over my body slowly so I had to move quickly. I did not black out. I was fully aware of my surroundings, and had all my cognitive thoughts. I didn't know what was happening at the time, but I was able to think clearly. In addition, I had the use of my body muscles below my neck. I got to the bedroom, flicked on the light and started pounding on the door to wake my wife up. Understandably, she was quite frightened and in a daze between being startled and having just drifted off to sleep.

She tried to snap me out of it, clapping her hands and repeating "What's wrong?", "What's happening", What's going on?". I know I was scaring her, but what was more scary is that because I couldn't talk, I couldn't explain anything. All I knew was that she needed to call 911. I pointed to her phone on the dresser, but either she didn't see it, or she thought it was simply me twitching out more and didn't register to her. Finally, what seemed like forever (but was only about a minute and a half), I felt relief and I was able to start controlling my muscles again.

I was able to spit out the words ambulance and 911. My speech was severely slurred. I told my wife to tell the 911 operator that I had either a stroke or a seizure. While she was on the phone, I got up to go to a mirror and try to smile. I knew the signs of a stroke and one of them is a droopy face. While I could move my left side of my face, the right side wouldn't respond at all. But I had my balance, and my limbs weren't tingling. So, with my wife still on the phone, I turned to Doctor Internet for the answer. It turned out I had a simple partial seizure (meaning it was only affecting one part of my brain) with my motor functions being affected (everything above my neck was spasming).

By the time the firefighters and paramedics made it, I had regained all my facial movements and could talk clearly again. After taking my vitals and doing a couple visual tests (for a stroke), I was whisked away to the ER for evaluation. They did some standard testing there and kept track of my vitals. They also wanted to take a CT scan of my head to see if anything was going on there. Up to this point we were wondering what caused it. Like anything that has gone on in my life in the last year, we were wondering if it was a side effect from one of my medications. I hadn't started anything new and none of them listed seizures as possible side effects.

I started thinking of the worst: the Vem had stopped working and the cancer had spread to my brain. As I sat there waiting for the test results, I tried to take my mind off it and started looking at stuff on my phone. Not too long after, I started having that feeling again. I kinda shrugged it off, closed my eyes again, and hoped it would go away. When I opened them they felt like they were twitching again, but I wanted to make sure it was doing it again instead of me being paranoid. So, I tried to concentrate on the light switch on the wall. When I couldn't, I turned to my wife and said "I think it's happening again".

She could also tell by looking at me something was not right and yelled out the door for a nurse or doctor. By that time, I acted on instinct. When the twitching started, I turn my head to the right and pinned my head as tightly against the pillow as I could so I didn't flail my head around. Again, I didn't black out or lose my cognitive ability. My wife held my hands as the nurse gave me some medication to prevent seizures. Again, it only took about a minute or so, and I was able to regain control and indicate I was ok. But it was late, and I wanted to try to sleep, so I drifted in and out after that.

I was able to hear the doctor tell my wife they had found a brain bleed on the CT scan. The concern, as I had worried, was whether the melanoma had metastasized in my brain. They transferred me to another local hospital that had a neurological ICU so they could monitor me, as well as get an MRI to get a clearer picture of what it was. Being that it was the weekend, everything moved slow.

Eventually, I was able to get my MRI done (plus another CT scan for their records) by Sunday and then Monday we had the results. It was deemed that the spot in my brain was caused by a small bleed that hadn't healed because I was on anti-coagulants. They aren't sure what caused it, but it was likely a hemorrhage caused by stress or strain. The good news is that they saw no underlying mass on the MRI so there was no brain metastases, and no need to do surgery. Simply, take it easy for a couple weeks. I was given a Rx for anti-seizure drugs and was told to go off my anti-coagulant injections. Oh, how upset I was over that one.

They kept me in the ICU for monitoring one more day and then moved me to the floor, where I stayed over night so they could clear me for discharge. Once everything was in order, I was free to go on Wednesday. However, for the next couple weeks I wasn't able to go to my PT or water walking so my back is still pretty sore. It set me back a little bit but I'm pushing forward.